RU 5 | Unbecoming

 

As entrepreneurs, we are always faced with the challenges of getting in touch with the personal aspects of life. Phoebe Mroczek, personal coach and host of the Unbecoming Podcast, takes us back to that as she talks about connection and learning to love yourself amidst everything that is happening in the world. She lays down the reasons why connection is important for an entrepreneur and how you can take that to your tribe and community. Taking a holistic approach, Phoebe talks about the challenges of loving ourselves back while showing her own routine from which you can get inspiration. Finally, Phoebe lets us in on her podcast, sharing her goals for the season as well as some advice to those who are ready to take that step into a new growth phase.

Listen to the podcast here:

Unbecoming with Phoebe Mroczek

RU 5 | Unbecoming

The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

Phoebe, welcome to the show. How are you?

I’m great and very excited to be here again.

We’re back for part two of our talk.

I can’t wait to be here. I’m excited to chat with you and see what cool questions you have up your sleeves.

I’ve got five rapid fire just so the audience can get to know you better. What is one of your favorite quotes?

It is by Paulo Coelho and he says, “Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t you so you can be who you’re meant to be in the first place.”

I know that’s the name of your show, which we’ll talk about. I guess I should have said, “What’s your favorite quote aside from the unbecoming quote?” What is one of your superpowers?

Connecting with people. I’m good at making people feel comfortable. That’s just been from a number of different scenarios in putting myself in different situations. That is something I pride myself on.

What are three of your favorite books?

If you evaluate the things that the universe is trying to show you, then you are able to derive a lot more meaning from life. Click To Tweet

I love Shel Silverstein. I’ve always loved him from way back in the day. Shel Silverstein as a whole in general because I love poems and poetry and kid stuff. That’s fun. Another book is Untethered Soul. I recommend that book more than any other book that I have. Another book is The Surrender Experiment. It’s a similar same vein but a different message. I’m big into personal growth thing. I’ll go with those three for now.

What’s been one of your greatest life achievements?

I would say playing Division I college soccer. That’s an easy one. We can dive into some other more personal stuff. That was a big life achievement that I worked my entire teenage and childhood.

What are you grateful for?

I’m grateful for the amazing people in my life. I feel great about where I am at the moment. That is a huge testament to the people that I have in my life. I did a purge in 2018 and a real audit and reevaluation. I’m surrounding myself with the most amazing people. I’m very grateful for the depth of conversation that I’m having at the moment. Also, with people that I care about and people that are coming to me right now in where I am to share a different message. I’m going to go with the people and the depth of conversation.

I want to dive deeper into your physical location now. Where are you now?

I have just moved to Austin, Texas. I’m officially a Texan. If I was talking to the Phoebe of five years ago and telling her that I lived in Texas, she would never believe it. It’s nothing against Texas, it just didn’t seem a place I was ever on my radar. I’ve been here for a couple of weeks now and I’m loving it. I’m enjoying it.

Talk to us about that. Talk to us about San Francisco to Austin. What was it about Austin that motivated you to come here? Why the change in leaving San Francisco?

RU 5 | Unbecoming

Unbecoming: What you give is what you get.

 

I am no stranger to moving. I’ve moved a lot and I get bored very easily. Bored is one of the words when we were growing up that if you ever said that you were bored, my mom would have a fit. I hesitate to say that word. It’s not even boredom. It’s just changing the scenery, changing my environment, and stretching myself and aiming to grow with everything that I do and learning along the way. I was overseas for seven years and move to San Francisco because I wanted to come back to the US. That seemed a great place and it was and I adore San Francisco. It will be my home again in the future at some point, but I felt that I was craving a little bit more connection, a little bit more of that depth. I love my friends in San Francisco too so it’s hard for me to even say that. I love the entrepreneurial spirit.

I just heard from an Uber driver that 150 to 200 people are moving to Austin a day. That energy coming in is the newbie energy. It’s the emerging spirit of the place. It’s cool and I feel that I’m always in the right place at the right time. We all are but I especially feel that right now. It almost feels a small town in a bigger city. I’m loving the connections that I’m making that people want to help. That was what I was after. It was the close connections and helping each other. I’ve only been here for a couple of weeks and I miss the ocean. Other than that, I’m loving the barbecue, live music, good foods and good drinks, good entertainment, great people. If you were going to sum up what I want my life to be, it’s pretty much those things.

I’ve got to agree with you about the beach since I’ve moved from California. I miss the water. There’s nothing close by so I’ve got to get my fix. I’m heading back to California or San Diego so I can’t wait to hang out by the beach.

I’m doing what I can with the Colorado River here. I do have to say that I’m a traveler as you are. For me to go and find the ocean, it’s not anything that sounds like twisting my arm. I’m very happy. It inspires me to go more often.

I wanted to talk about connection. You hit it on the head with you moving to Austin looking for new connections and new friends. Many entrepreneurs moving to the Austin area or people, in general, but a lot of them being entrepreneurs. In your line of work, you do the coaching and the podcasting. How important is the connection for an entrepreneur? Is that something that we need that we’re looking for? What’s your take on that?

It’s interesting even the word connection. A lot of people associate that with connections being, “Who do you know that can get you somewhere?” As an entrepreneur, it’s just as a human being. The connection piece of going deep with somebody and understanding who they are, why that’s important, what they’re up to, what they’re excited about, what they value, how they live their life and where they’re going. It’s so important to me because that’s one of my superpowers. I also feel that not enough people give a shit. I give a shit about people and I want to know all that information because it can help me help you and it can help us deepen and strengthen a connection and a relationship. That is the foundation. For me, everything is built on that rock-solid foundation. To your point about how important is that right now, I find that even with social media, it almost feels that we’re so connected. We always say that.

When we were little, the only time you saw pictures of somebody was when they printed it out and sent it at you. You only send it to your family. My dad and I had a family newsletter and people paid me $5 a month. I would print out these pictures and printout a little write up on what everybody was into. That was reserved for people that you had an intimate relationship with like your family, your very close friends and now it’s on blast for everybody to see. It’s almost this fake reality where we now feel more connected than ever, but are we really? That’s the space that I want to occupy because I’m not for everybody and I make that clear. The people I am for and that resonate with who I am and what I talk about and how I show up in the world, it just allows us another opportunity. I’m not against social media, I’m very for it if it’s used properly and if it’s used in the way that can help you connect with people. There’s an interesting distinction there that many people take into account where we feel more connected than ever yet so many of us feel incredibly lonely.

You have a unique way of connecting with your tribe and community. Who is Phoebe before? How do you connect differently with your tribe and community than most others do?

Trust that everything is happening exactly the way it should. Click To Tweet

I’m going to start with the second one. I’m showing up in a way that I am much more open about who I am and that comes with confidence. It isn’t a strategy. My strategy is just to be 100% me and that lends itself to my brand and what I stand for. My belief is that we build businesses as extensions of ourselves. The who piece is the most important thing for me. People buy who you are before they ever buy why you do what you do. By showing up as me, I’m just walking the walk. I’m doing what I say I believe in and I’m being a woman of my word and a woman of integrity.

For that reason, people can resonate with being in my sphere and learning what I’m going through. My belief is that leaders are learners. It’s people that are okay with learning and not knowing all the answers. My approach is that I don’t want to look down on anybody. I don’t want to tell you that you should be doing this. I want to be your girlfriend that you plug into your ears when you need a little motivation and when you need to get out of your way and figure out this business problem or this life problem. The way that I show up is very much without the pedestal.

I used to think that sometimes it was to my detriment that I would share a little bit too much about how little I knew. For the type of person that I attract, it’s somebody who’s okay not knowing everything, who feels that they’re ready to stop pretending. They’re putting on this mask that they know everything and ready to embark on a new adventure. I tend to attract very adventurous people, which often includes travelers. I attract people that want to build an amazing life with business inside of that and not the opposite. I attract someone who wants a real connection and real substance that is a person of substance and a person of depth and people that don’t take themselves so seriously. I have a lot of fun in my life. I don’t want anyone ever to feel that I’m a very nonjudgmental person in the way like I want you to share who you are and then I’m going to help you. I’ll create what that could look like and live in a place of possibility and not a place of reality and skepticism and negativity. That’s just not where I play in my life.

From an outside perspective, you have a holistic approach with your audience. You tell them what’s going on and what’s going on with the family. Can you talk about that a little bit? You don’t show up to sell and promote. You do talk about what you have to offer, but you don’t come off like that. Can you talk a little bit about that?

I just found that the people I follow and I like, I appreciate their presence either online whether I know them or not. They were just showing different areas of their life. I don’t like them because of what they do. I like them because of who they are. That is a huge distinction that I had to make when hiring people and when hiring a coach and getting involved in mastermind programs and courses or whatever. I’m looking at the full person because we’re all multidimensional. I want there to be no surprises when it comes to who I am and what I do.

If we look at it that way, it’s like, “I’m going to bring you along and you get to know me.” I’m like, “Do you live there? I have a friend that lives there.” It’s like, “No, I don’t.” I just know the person. He’s a personality online or she’s just moved there too. I want people to feel like that. I want people to feel that they can rely on me and they can trust me because I’m out to create this amazing life with people that I care about. I speak very directly to one person because I want people to feel that we would be great friends. What you give is what you get. I want the people in my sphere to feel that what I am here to do is in alignment with what they’re here to do.

If we’re going to get super macro and spiritual, we’re on this planet. How many people are we going to interact in our lives anyway? The fact that you and I just randomly met, we’ve been putting each other’s paths and I think that’s for a reason. Whether that’s to reflect back to something I need to learn about myself or I can help you and you can help me. We can just learn our way to this freedom and fulfillment and building a more meaningful life together. Part of my strategy is just opening up. I love sharing about my life. I’ve been very open about where I am and where I’m going because I want people to come on board and/or I want them to be like, “That Phoebe girl is not for me. She shares a little too much or whatever.” That’s great but at least now you’re informed enough to make a great decision whether you want to work with me or not.

RU 5 | Unbecoming

The Surrender Experiment: My Journey into Life’s Perfection

You own that. You’ve stepped into that like, “I’m going to share about me and my life on what’s going on.” You were spending some time. Your sister just had a new baby. I knew you were home for quite a bit of time. Can we talk to us about that? You and I talked and there were some challenges that came through with the business being out. How important it is being with family for that short amount of time? How did you push through knowing the stress of the business? There were some things that are happening. How did you push through that?

It was a short period of time, but it felt very long. I moved from San Francisco to Austin, but I did a stint in Virginia to help my sister with her new baby. I was there for about five weeks. I didn’t realize how involved it was going to be, which was awesome. I had to go back to a place of gratitude. Anytime I started to get worked up thinking, “At the end of the year, I should be out getting more clients. I should be doing this and I should be doing that.” I didn’t have the time. I was canceling calls. I was rescheduling things so that I could take care of my newborn nephew. There are days that I would shit all over myself and be like, “Why am I not doing this?”

There are moments where I was checking myself that I thought, “This is everything.” If I could talk to my nineteen-year-old self and tell her what I’m doing right now, “You’ll be able to take a month off and be able to take care of your new nephew,” I never would’ve believed you and that’s so cool. I had to bring myself back to that place rather than getting lost like, “I wish I was doing more. I should be doing this or that.” To say, “I am so lucky that I have a family that wants me around. I have a sister who just had a healthy baby boy and I get to be there and be present with my little three-year-old nephew.” I want to share that with people and I also want to share that attitude because there were moments of highs and lows. I’m sharing throughout the whole thing that it wasn’t always roses and rainbows. It was challenging at times. That’s what I sign up for every day. I sign up for the journey, I sign up for a living, I sign up for having a great life. That comes with drawbacks and it comes with benefits.

It was awesome to see that side of you because that’s the side I never got to see when we were in San Francisco. It was cool to see you on all of those videos on Instagram holding your baby nephew or interacting with your three-year-old nephew. It was cool to see that side of you because we didn’t get to see it. For you to show that, that speaks huge into who you are as a person and more importantly, how you’re showing up. I know your friend would love having you there too. Your sister loved having you helping her with the baby.

This is a great awareness even for me. That is so who I am. I love kids. I used to be an elementary education major and I ended up changing it. I love kids. They teach me so much about what it is to have a pure unconditional relationship. That’s what I have with my three-year-old nephew. We have a connection that I’ve never had before with anybody. It is so pure and so lovely and so loving. I can cry over the microphone talking about how much I love him so much because it’s something special. Anyone who has kids will know this. This thing is intangible. You can’t quite define it or put a finger on it. That is so who I am. I put so much of my love into my friends and other people and myself to get to show that and experienced that for five weeks with my three-year-old nephew and with the newborn. The three-year-old can talk back. It’s so fun. Thank you for sharing that with me. That’s just nice to hear.

You mentioned love back in yourself. I know that as entrepreneurs, we all face this challenge of love back in ourselves, whether it be in our health, our fitness, our mindset and our spirituality. What are you doing now to make sure that you are making sure you’re loving herself?

I made a decision that I was going to put myself first. Of course, that doesn’t always happen and that slips off. As humans, we’re so concerned with everybody else. Women used to taking care of everybody and men used to being the provider. It’s not necessarily a gender thing. I found that I was putting myself behind a 100 people that I knew. If I looked at my Facebook friends, I was 5,000 or whatever it is. I just realized that I can’t help people if I don’t feel great about myself. The only way to do that is to put myself first and make decisions that are in alignment with my highest values. It’s a great challenge. It is just a decision and taking what my goal was.

Even this 2019, my big overarching theme is falling in love with what I’m doing, falling in love with myself, falling in love with somebody else, falling in love with my friends, my body and all of those things. That starts with the daily habits that I’ve created for myself. Everything I do for my morning routine is not the same. It doesn’t work for me to have one routine. Routines do work but it’s a variety. I set myself up for a win starting at 9:00 AM. Starting at 9:00 AM, I feel amazing about myself because I’ve already accomplished something. I’ve already done something amazing for me and not for everybody else. I block out the noise, I do a lot of different things. That’s been the biggest commitment to myself every day.

Let’s talk about this because this is a big one. You get told that you need to structure your day. Each day needs to look the same or each day needs to have the structure for you. Your day has variety. It’s not structured to what people are saying. How do you start your routine and how do you structure your week?

Trust your gut and don't listen to what everybody else is saying. Click To Tweet

I am an experimenter in everything that I do. I love to tinker and try things out and test things. I normally do it in 30 days segments. I have been testing out this thing, which trying to perfect my morning routine. In my morning routine, the three wins or whatever it is, I’ve been testing it out for the last several months. I feel in a good place with it at the moment. It’s the three wins by 9:00 AM. How can I get the wins? Wins are small. I set myself up for success. As a former college athlete, it’s all about the outcome and the scoreboard and all that stuff, but it’s not. For me and my brain, it works. If I’m like, “What three things have I done this morning?” It’s a basket of things that I want to do and I choose three of those things. Right now, I’m making my bed every morning. That’s a big one. I have a bunch of options. I’m a lady of variety. I’m an antique person. I could take a cold shower. I could journal. I could meditate. I could go for a long walk. I could write a handwritten note to somebody that I care about. I could be with my crystals. I can read something. I can listen to an audiobook. It’s something that’s just for me. I could take a bath. Out of those, I choose three things.

It’s so great because I feel that by the time I start my day, I’m ready and I’m like, “I feel great about me and about myself.” That’s how I’ve been structuring my days however goes through that part. This is what I’ve been experimenting with. I have my highest values, which are adventure, connection and learning. Those three things are my highest values. I put those into my week and I break down my week. Monday and Friday are connection days. Tuesday and Thursdays are creation days, creativity expressing myself. Wednesday is coaching. In my coaching, I learned just as much as they do. It’s a learning day for me. It’s a day that I get to hang out with my clients and have great conversations and learn my way out of my Wednesday. That’s how I’ve been chunking my week and managing my time.

I want to dive into the morning routine. By 9:00 AM, you’re picking one of these three things. I want to talk cold shower because I saw your Instagram posts. How’s the cold shower going? Are you still doing it?

It’s terrible. I hate it. I prefer warm showers. If I think about it and I want to do it, then I do it. I don’t enjoy it but I do it. The cold baths and the Wim Hof and breathing, I get it. I am on board with that. I was just having a great conversation that started the topic of cold showers. It’s one thing that’s going to push me out of my comfort zone or scare me a little bit or make me feel uncomfortable before 9:00 AM. That was the cold showers. I just kept on with it. I do it maybe twice a week. It’s great because I have that thought that’s like, “It would be nicer to have a hot shower.” My commitment is about growth and challenging myself. I do that through things that are not comfortable. By the time I start my day at 9:00 AM, I’m like, “I didn’t think I could do that for that long. I didn’t think I could be in a cold shower longer than two minutes, but I did it. What else can I accomplish? What else can I do?”

I want to stay on the morning routine because I want to talk crystals a little bit. This intrigues me. I know you love crystals. What’s the meaning behind crystals for you? There are different ones that have a different purpose. Where did the love of crystals come from?

I do know that I used to polish rocks when I was little and I was like, “I wonder if that’s where it started.” I just always thought they were pretty, but I don’t think I got into crystals until maybe I was living in Berlin. I saw a shop because it’s quite a hipster alternative spiritual place. I just started looking them up and understanding which ones could have what effect and what impact. To be honest, I’m a big believer of, “Do whatever makes you feel good.” Whatever that means for you. For me it’s, “I love looking at crystals.” I was just showing you my two big amethyst. When I move somewhere, I buy myself a nice piece of jewelry. I did that in San Francisco. Normally, it’s a big ring because I love big jewelry. I know exactly where I was standing when I looked at it. I bought it and I was so excited and I just moved there. This time I was like, “Jewelry just doesn’t feel right. I’m going to go to this crystal place here in Austin.” I bought these two amazing amethysts. They make me feel good. I love the look of them.

Does your crystal serve a meaning? Is there a certain crystal if you need an abundance or other crystals that accomplished or helped with that?

If you go into a crystal shop, which when you come to Austin, I love to open the door of crystals to people because of their reaction to them. It’s not necessarily a meaning as much as it is like property. These crystals are holding this energy. I’m not 100% woo. I live in the gray area. It’s never black or white. It’s always gray for me. In this gray area, I’m just going to go and see what resonates and see why it resonates. I do the same thing with animals. I just saw six turtles and I was like, “That is bizarre.” I’m constantly being aware and that helps me with my everyday presence. That’s an important thing for me. Everything is a sign. I take everything as a sign. There are no bad signs. Everything is not roses and rainbows. I hate to say it. If you evaluate the things that the universe is trying to show you, then you are able to derive a lot more meaning from life. I see signs all the time and I’m like, “What is that?” I don’t think that I even stopped to question what it was. When I go into a crystal shop, I’m like, “What resonates with me?” I look up the meaning and I’m like, “That’s interesting.”

RU 5 | Unbecoming

Unbecoming: The more confident you get, the more doors will open for you.

 

Five years ago that wasn’t happening. What was going on then that prevented that? The presence that you have now that you didn’t have before, what was preventing that before?

I was just so caught up in my own BS. I was caught up in everyday life and everything was moving so quickly and I was contributing. I take full credit for that. I just hadn’t asked myself the important questions about what matters to me in my life. I’ve had different periods of time when things were happening. One of the biggest life decisions or life mantras I came up with was when I was eighteen. I just said, “Do what you want and do it now. Don’t wait.” There are different seasons of my life. One of those seasons was I was looking for more out of my life and I was like, “What is going on?”

I thought I’d be further ahead than I am right now and I’m sure you can resonate and everyone can resonate with that. I thought I’d be further along than I am right now. I had all these dreams. 29.5 was such an incredible gift to me because I had a big breakdown and was like, “I have six months to become a millionaire.” I told everyone in my fifth-grade class that I was going to be a millionaire by the time I was 30. I just remember talking to a friend and he was like, “How is that serving you?” The better question was, “How would your life be any different if you had $1 million in your bank account?” I remember exactly where I was standing and I thought, “I’d fly first class.” He was like, “What else?” I’m like, “Maybe I’d buy a house somewhere.” He’s like, “Your life wouldn’t be that different.” I’m like, “No, I would still buy the same ratty $14 jeans from Ross. That wouldn’t change.” I travel just as much as I want anyway. That was a real shift for me to realize that I had been putting all this pressure on myself to do more and hustle. It was the opposite that I needed, which was space and time and investment in myself.

This is a perfect segue into The Unbecoming Podcast. Everything that you thought that you need to become all these things in order to achieve this goal that you set. What’s the season you’re in now? What season would you say Phoebe is in now?

I’m in a season of visibility and growth and understanding and learning. That is where I feel right now. I feel on the verge of something awesome, which I felt for a while. Everything that I’ve been putting out is coming back to me right now. It’s that boomerang of abundance maybe. All of that stuff that I say I’ve wanted is coming true for me. That’s a fun unfolding to witness, to be a part of and to experience. It’s also incredible to learn what’s working and what’s not. I’m also in a period or a season of synthesis where I’m figuring out what’s working, who’s working, why that isn’t working and questioning everything. Curiosity is my middle name and has always been. I’m always so curious about people and why they do the things they do. Now, I’ve gotten to shine the light back on myself and see, “Why do I like that?” That is this unbecoming process. I hate to say it because that feels very cliché for me to say that. It is a season of complete unbecoming for. It feels true for me at the moment.

We know the name of the podcast is Unbecoming. I want to talk about the podcast because you are now doing a solo podcast where before, you were a cohost. What was the transition of that decision to go from, “Let me try this on my own?” Was that scary? What led you to create the Unbecoming podcast?

It was terrifying. It was a rollercoaster of emotions where I’m like, “Does anyone care what I have to say? Do I have a value to bring to the world?” That’s real life. I know that a lot of people struggle with that, but that was true for me. I had been almost a sidekick. I had been behind the scenes of so many different businesses and brands. I’m helping other people share who they are in the world and help everyone else create their own dreams. I thought, “Let me go ahead, practice what I preach, walk the walk and put myself first and see if this is something I can do.” Starting the podcast was scary but it was also exhilarating and it was also exciting. It allowed me to play a new game where I got to put my money where my mouth was and also test out a bunch of things and see who is listening and engage and show up in a way that I never had before. I am so grateful. Starting my show was one of the best things I’ve ever done in my whole life, which feels very grandiose to say but it is the truth.

She’s 52 episodes or more now. You did it for a year straight. What were some of the lessons you took away from 52 weeks of podcasting?

Rather than setting a goal, set the habits in place. Click To Tweet

The first thing is to being consistent. That’s all I set out to do. I just said to people, “I will show up consistently for 52 weeks.” I did it and that was the best thing I ever could have done. I know a lot of people that fall off the podcasting game and call it. I just know the impact that it can have. Even on the weeks that I didn’t want to show up, I was going through stuff or it was hard. To be honest, I missed one week and that was my mistake. I went to India on a whim and I missed a week. Other than that, I have never missed a single week. Staying consistent was helping me be a woman of integrity, a woman of my word. That was a huge lesson for me because it was almost proving to myself that I could do it. I did have something of value that I could offer the world a new perspective that I had never shared before.

The second thing is that the more confident that I got, the more doors that would open. The more open I was to the evolution of what my podcast would turn into, that stems from a real trust in myself and trust in the universe. Trust that everything is happening exactly the way it should. There are a lot of pockets of before that didn’t feel like that and felt rocky. I had to come back to the fact that I know myself and when my back is against the wall, I create amazing things. When my back is not against the wall, I create amazing things too. Just to have that confidence in me and knowing that it was all going to evolve being open to how it transformed and being willing and accepting of changing my mind.

If I just wanted to go in a different direction, I could do that. The third one was just not to worry about what other people thought. That’s been a big repeating pattern historically throughout my life and worrying what other people thought. A lot of people told me it was not a good idea and to stick with what’s comfortable and stick with what’s working. I just knew that I needed to put myself out there and I wanted to challenge myself. Trust your gut and don’t listen to what everybody else is saying.

That third one is a big one. Not listening to what others are saying and the fear of being judged. We all go through that. We figure out a way to push through. Even with this show, it’s one where it’s like, “Who am I to be doing this? Who am I to be feeling this?” As entrepreneurs, we all face this. We’re getting ready to step into this new growth. What’s one piece of advice you could give to our audience for those that are ready to make that or in that process of making that step into a new growth phase? What’s one piece of advice you would give them?

My biggest piece of advice is something that I’m playing around a lot with. It’s the habits piece. Rather than setting a goal, set the habits in place. How are you showing up on a daily basis to unbecome the person that you want to be in the world? On a consistent basis, looking through that lens and saying, “How do I show up as that?” Even if you’re not recording or whatever. The other thing is setting a goal. When something bad happens and you want to wallow in self-pity and eat four pines of ice cream and watch your Netflix, that’s cool but you’ve got 24 hours to have your breakdown. Limit the amount of time that you worry and fret and feel anxious and imposter and just get out and do it. Surround yourself with people who are going to support you and be careful about who you select in that group, especially if you’re starting something that is creative. I find creative people like myself and like you, I’m very sensitive. I didn’t embrace that or acknowledge that until a year ago.

When I come out with a new idea, the second someone says, “Are you sure you’re going to call it that? Are you going to interview that person or you’re going to talk about this?” My balloon is deflated. It’s hit the ground. I want people that are going to fan my flame and people that will keep my balloon in the air so that I can thrive and be a big personality and the fun person that I am. If I had people around me, I’ve had to let them go. If I had to go back to fourteen months ago starting my show, it would be choosing very intentionally to surround myself with the right people and get the coaching, support, mentorship, mastermind and whatever you feel you need however you thrive. Stay in that bubble as long as you can. The other thing I’ve done, which has been amazing was I went and I unfollowed anyone on social media through Instagram or Facebook that did not make me feel the way that I wanted to feel. I want to feel fun and I want to feel full of integrity. I don’t want anyone else to burst my bubble.

I snooze them for 30 days. You can do that on Facebook. I snooze them for 30 days and my life has radically changed since doing that. It’s incredible. It’s been a big shift. I was like, “I’ll give myself 20 minutes. As I scroll on my Facebook newsfeed, I’m going to snooze many people that I see that don’t make me feel bigger and better and amazing and confident.” I snoozed those people. Anytime I open my Facebook app, I couldn’t do anything on there until I snoozed ten people. That was such a great habit to put in place. I realized, “At the end of the day, I put me first. What makes me feel good? I’m going to go in the direction of that every time.”

I want to fun and adventure. What are some of the best places you’ve been to that fulfilled that fun and adventure piece of you? What are some of the places you’ve visited?

RU 5 | Unbecoming

Unbecoming: Do what you want and do it now. Live a great life because you don’t know what’s happening tomorrow.

 

I lived in Beijing, China for three years. That was fun and adventure and chaos all in one. That was a big chunk of my life and a blast. For sure, that stretched me in ways I never knew I could be stretched. I came out the other side being like, “I did not figure that place out.” I gave it my all and I learned a lot through it. It was fun and very adventurous. At that time, I got to travel a ton. I’ve traveled to a lot of countries. My biggest fun and adventures would be Costa Rica. It was just fun and there was so much laughter with my girlfriends. I don’t see the places themselves as I do the moments that I’m there and how I feel in those moments.

I was just in India on a whirlwind trip that was extremely adventurous. I decided to go to India and I had 45 minutes to get to the airport for a ten-day trip. That was exhilarating and fun and scary and adventurous all in one. I’ve never laughed that hard for that long of a period of time. It was an amazing trip. Cage diving with the great white sharks in South Africa was terrifying and fun. Camping in the Serengeti and there are lions a hundred yards from you and giraffes and elephant walked through our camp. There are so many cool things. I did a motorcycle trip through Europe. It was fifteen countries in three months. I saw more of myself and had more of the moments and the pauses in between the moments, which will live with me forever. I’ve truly made me the fun and adventurous person that I like to think I am now.

Do you have your motorcycle license on you?

I don’t. I’ve done the driving section, which is the hard one. I’ve done that and I didn’t do the written, but now that I’m in Texas, I’m going to take it again. I’m going to get on it.

We’ll do a motorcycle trip once you get it. Was there something in life that created your rise up moments? Was there a decision and action or something that happened and you said, “Because of these multiple things, I am now on the path that I am now? I could have gone a different direction, but because I decided to rise up, I am doing what I love to do now.” What’s been Phoebe’s rise up moment or moments?

I love the name of the show and it’s what you stand for in this arena. When I was eighteen, my dad passed away. I hate to go all doom and gloom on this because that’s not how I feel. When he passed away, it was very sudden. I thought we had more time and all this stuff. At that moment, that was that decision, “Do what you want and do it now and live a great life because you don’t know what’s happening tomorrow. Your reality is very different.”

I was always seen as a very positive person, which I am but it was almost borderline unrealistic. I lived in this fantasy world, which is fun and I dip in and out of that all the time. I’ve got to check myself and figure out what’s true and what’s not. That became a commitment to living a great life to grow to adventure and fun and whatever. It became more of a commitment to honesty and a commitment to being honest with me and what I want out of life. That was a moment that caused me to question everything and get on this path of curiosity and exploration. That was the first one. Starting my show was a big moment for me to say all the things that I had been saying to myself this whole time like, “Can you do it? Is this the right time?” You’re going to be somebody.

I stopped and reflected and I was like, “I’m tired of waiting to be somebody. I am that somebody now.” I do have something to say and I have some great experience and life lessons and things that I want to share. Even if it feels stupid and I’m doing a happy hour episode with maybe too many glasses of wine, that’s who I am. I have a gift just like all of us do. I decided to make that commitment not even to anybody else but to myself as an audio journal to commit to the person that I’ve unbecome. Also, to help other people in their path and their journey to build a life that they want and a business that can support it. Those are my two big Rise Up moments.

Thank you for sharing that with the audience.

Thank you for asking that. It’s a great question.

For those that are looking to get more information about you, where can the RISE Tribe get more information on Phoebe?

I’m very accessible on social media and I love it that way. I’m very active on Instagram. If you want to just listen to what I have to say and my lifestyle and stuff like that, I would encourage you to go over to the podcast. That’s UnbecomingPodcast.com. Join in on my life and our community. We have a great community of unbecomers. You can find it at UnbecomingPodcast.com/Community and then find me on Instagram. I have a lot of stuff going on. I’m constantly trying to include more people to make them feel that they belong. If you’re a little bit weird and quirky and awkward and you want to do cool things in the world, then we’re going to get along. I would love to have a conversation with you and get to know you better. We haven’t touched on business, but that is creating a life that you’re excited about and also building a business. I have a marketing background and all that. Creating a business to support that.

I want to say thank you for coming on. This is the second episode and I feel that they get better every time you come back on. I want to say thank you for what you do. Thank you for being an amazing friend. You’re always there when I have questions or if I want to ask something. You’re always open to give me feedback. I love that about you. Thank you for what you are doing in the world.

Thank you so much. I am so grateful to you and I’m so proud of you. I want you to know how proud I am because I feel that this is something that’s been brewing inside of you. To watch you take action is so cool. Who you are and what you stand for and all the people you’re helping, you’re making an impact in the world. Thank you for having me.

I hope you enjoyed this episode with Phoebe. I will be back with a new guest on the show. Take care.

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About Phoebe Mroczek

RU 5 | UnbecomingPhoebe Mroczek is a podcaster and marketing strategist who helps online entrepreneurs create a profitable business that is a reflection of who they are and what they want most.

She is the host of the Unbecoming Podcast, a show that helps entrepreneurs release judgment, expectations and past conditioning to redefine their metrics of success and live a fun, free and fulfilling life.

Over the past few years, she’s built an online marketing business that helped established entrepreneurs refine their paid ad and launch strategies, created a podcast she co-hosted with 900K+ downloads and organized various in-person events, masterminds, and online communities.

Phoebe believes that while what we do in the world is important, we’re meant to do so much more in life than just work. As a curious explorer and recovering perfectionist, she’s traveled to more than 60 countries on 6 continents, been cage diving with great white sharks, camped in the Serengeti and motorbiked across Europe.

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